Love Gift By Jennie L.
When you begin a journey in your life, very rarely do you know how it will turn out, or how many different twists and turns, surprises and hardships you may encounter. What you can know though is that God IS faithful…. Always. What I want to share with you today is how He has proven Himself faithful to me many times….
My husband Joshua and I met in the summer after his first year of medical school at Temple in Philadelphia. I came there for a summer medical mission’s program that he would also be involved in. Even though I had no medical background whatsoever (I did not even attend college), I knew that God was calling me to attend that summer program. Within a few short days, I met Josh, fell in love with him and felt led to stay in Philly as the administrative assistant of the Medical Campus Outreach program there. We were married his third year of medical school, and three days before match day in the fourth year we had our first child.
Well, I did not know what to expect as far as Residency. I knew it would be hard in many ways. We were leaving Philadelphia to go to Pittsburgh with a few week old baby, no family nearby, and a couple of friends in the area. As soon as we arrived, we attended a get-together for all of the new residents. That night, a women with a very somber look on her face, approached me. She asked what I was there for. When I told her my husband was starting residency, she took one look at the baby in my arms, looked back at me, and said,” Well, you’ll be a single parent.” And walked away. I stood there for a moment shocked, and then walked outside so my husband wouldn’t see me crying. He followed me outside and, always knowing when something is wrong, asked me what had happened. I told him and then I said something else. I cannot go into residency believing that this is what it will be like for us. If God has called us to do this, then I must believe that He will bring fruit in our lives because of it. I decided and prayed then and there that I would walk forward purposefully, trusting the Lord to take the hardships, and turn them into something beautiful. I am grateful to that woman for being so upfront with her apparent bitterness. It served as a valuable lesson of choice to me: choose to focus on the hardships, and be tempted by bitterness, or choose to focus and rely on His strength, and come through in victory.
There were times during Residency that were harder than anything either of us wanted to go through. I know you all have experienced similar times. Many long hours spent apart from your husband. Many meals eating alone with kids (we had three at this point), many tears thinking that you can’t make it another day. Yet, I can honestly say, that in my times of fear, and loneliness, the Lord made Himself extremely real, extremely sufficient. His provisions have been real, but it is His presence that has been the sweetest.
Toward the end of residency we found out we were expecting our fourth child. Joshua had also been accepted to do a fellowship here at Mayo in Hospital Medicine. At this point, we were very excited to know the next step (and hopefully final one of training!), and a little nervous about such an unknown place as Minnesota. Again, with family even further away, it would be an adventure. The weekend we were to move, my mom called to say goodbye. She had been battling cancer for 11 years, and at that point, they did not think she would make it through the day. My husband and kids and I packed up and flew out that afternoon to be with her. Our friends finished packing us up, and literally moved us when we were gone. I with all my siblings and their families stayed with her and my father for about 6 weeks, with Joshua coming back and forth as he needed to begin fellowship. This was an amazing time together and my mom lived for another 3 months. It was also amazing for us, in that even though I had not met anyone here yet, when we got home there were bags of groceries and note cards waiting for us at the door from my leaders of SBS, LeeAnn, Sarah, and Kristi. What a tangible expression of love and provision.
Let me share with you a few favorite passages of mine that the Lord has taught me from during these years of training.
Romans 4:19 talks about Abraham. It says,” Without becoming weak in faith he contemplated his own body, now as good as dead since he was about a hundred years old, and the deadness of Sarah’s womb; yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform.”
We face many hard things as women and as wives to doctors: loneliness, discouragements, sense of failure, sense of inadequacy, sense of single- parenthood, but this verse encourages us in that Abraham did not try to cover the facts. He knew what he was up against, he knew the seeming impossibilities before him, but chose to not consider it a barrier to God to work His purposes. May we do that too. We know full well the hardships that we are up against: the temptation to lower our expectations, to dumb down our dreams and to “settle” for the children to just go to bed on time. God desires to show Himself faithful. Pray for and trust Him for fruit during these times.
Another story that struck me is about the three men thrown into the fiery furnace for not bowing to the king. It says that not only were they not burned, but that there was no smell of smoke on them. This has been one of my prayers during these years of training. That not only would we not be burned by these trials, but that there would be no smell of smoke on me or my husband or my children. That bitterness would not be allowed to take root, that we would choose to rejoice and trust that He would help us to take the precious from the worthless.
The last passage I want to share with you is one that the Lord taught me (and is still teaching me) a valuable lesson about.
It is in Isaiah 55, and it says, “Ho! Every one who thirsts, come to the waters; and you who have no money come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and delight yourself in abundance….”.
There are many times as a wife and mother that I want to do things by my own energy, with my own resources, not to receive credit from anyone except for me to know that my strength is capable and enough. Wow. How many times, I have been layed low, and through testing discovered my strength is next to nothing. This is a humbling and true passage to me, as the Lord is telling me to bring my lack, my “nothing” before Him and use it to buy wine and milk. How?! Because it is never my “money” or “energy” that accomplishes…it is His. Where it says, “why do you spend money for what is not bread”, I sensed Him telling me, Why do you spend your energy on what will not last…(laundry, cleaning, worrying), spend it on what will last… come to Me, stand beside your husband, equip your children. We all know that there are things that just need to get done and always will, but the challenge to us is where are the first-fruits of our time and energy and thoughts going toward?
We are now finishing up fellowship and have accepted a position at Vanderbilt in Nashville. We are also expecting our fifth child, due two weeks after we move. The adventure continues! I do know that God will continue to prove Himself faithful.
When you begin a journey in your life, very rarely do you know how it will turn out, or how many different twists and turns, surprises and hardships you may encounter. What you can know though is that God IS faithful…. Always. What I want to share with you today is how He has proven Himself faithful to me many times….
My husband Joshua and I met in the summer after his first year of medical school at Temple in Philadelphia. I came there for a summer medical mission’s program that he would also be involved in. Even though I had no medical background whatsoever (I did not even attend college), I knew that God was calling me to attend that summer program. Within a few short days, I met Josh, fell in love with him and felt led to stay in Philly as the administrative assistant of the Medical Campus Outreach program there. We were married his third year of medical school, and three days before match day in the fourth year we had our first child.
Well, I did not know what to expect as far as Residency. I knew it would be hard in many ways. We were leaving Philadelphia to go to Pittsburgh with a few week old baby, no family nearby, and a couple of friends in the area. As soon as we arrived, we attended a get-together for all of the new residents. That night, a women with a very somber look on her face, approached me. She asked what I was there for. When I told her my husband was starting residency, she took one look at the baby in my arms, looked back at me, and said,” Well, you’ll be a single parent.” And walked away. I stood there for a moment shocked, and then walked outside so my husband wouldn’t see me crying. He followed me outside and, always knowing when something is wrong, asked me what had happened. I told him and then I said something else. I cannot go into residency believing that this is what it will be like for us. If God has called us to do this, then I must believe that He will bring fruit in our lives because of it. I decided and prayed then and there that I would walk forward purposefully, trusting the Lord to take the hardships, and turn them into something beautiful. I am grateful to that woman for being so upfront with her apparent bitterness. It served as a valuable lesson of choice to me: choose to focus on the hardships, and be tempted by bitterness, or choose to focus and rely on His strength, and come through in victory.
There were times during Residency that were harder than anything either of us wanted to go through. I know you all have experienced similar times. Many long hours spent apart from your husband. Many meals eating alone with kids (we had three at this point), many tears thinking that you can’t make it another day. Yet, I can honestly say, that in my times of fear, and loneliness, the Lord made Himself extremely real, extremely sufficient. His provisions have been real, but it is His presence that has been the sweetest.
Toward the end of residency we found out we were expecting our fourth child. Joshua had also been accepted to do a fellowship here at Mayo in Hospital Medicine. At this point, we were very excited to know the next step (and hopefully final one of training!), and a little nervous about such an unknown place as Minnesota. Again, with family even further away, it would be an adventure. The weekend we were to move, my mom called to say goodbye. She had been battling cancer for 11 years, and at that point, they did not think she would make it through the day. My husband and kids and I packed up and flew out that afternoon to be with her. Our friends finished packing us up, and literally moved us when we were gone. I with all my siblings and their families stayed with her and my father for about 6 weeks, with Joshua coming back and forth as he needed to begin fellowship. This was an amazing time together and my mom lived for another 3 months. It was also amazing for us, in that even though I had not met anyone here yet, when we got home there were bags of groceries and note cards waiting for us at the door from my leaders of SBS, LeeAnn, Sarah, and Kristi. What a tangible expression of love and provision.
Let me share with you a few favorite passages of mine that the Lord has taught me from during these years of training.
Romans 4:19 talks about Abraham. It says,” Without becoming weak in faith he contemplated his own body, now as good as dead since he was about a hundred years old, and the deadness of Sarah’s womb; yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform.”
We face many hard things as women and as wives to doctors: loneliness, discouragements, sense of failure, sense of inadequacy, sense of single- parenthood, but this verse encourages us in that Abraham did not try to cover the facts. He knew what he was up against, he knew the seeming impossibilities before him, but chose to not consider it a barrier to God to work His purposes. May we do that too. We know full well the hardships that we are up against: the temptation to lower our expectations, to dumb down our dreams and to “settle” for the children to just go to bed on time. God desires to show Himself faithful. Pray for and trust Him for fruit during these times.
Another story that struck me is about the three men thrown into the fiery furnace for not bowing to the king. It says that not only were they not burned, but that there was no smell of smoke on them. This has been one of my prayers during these years of training. That not only would we not be burned by these trials, but that there would be no smell of smoke on me or my husband or my children. That bitterness would not be allowed to take root, that we would choose to rejoice and trust that He would help us to take the precious from the worthless.
The last passage I want to share with you is one that the Lord taught me (and is still teaching me) a valuable lesson about.
It is in Isaiah 55, and it says, “Ho! Every one who thirsts, come to the waters; and you who have no money come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and delight yourself in abundance….”.
There are many times as a wife and mother that I want to do things by my own energy, with my own resources, not to receive credit from anyone except for me to know that my strength is capable and enough. Wow. How many times, I have been layed low, and through testing discovered my strength is next to nothing. This is a humbling and true passage to me, as the Lord is telling me to bring my lack, my “nothing” before Him and use it to buy wine and milk. How?! Because it is never my “money” or “energy” that accomplishes…it is His. Where it says, “why do you spend money for what is not bread”, I sensed Him telling me, Why do you spend your energy on what will not last…(laundry, cleaning, worrying), spend it on what will last… come to Me, stand beside your husband, equip your children. We all know that there are things that just need to get done and always will, but the challenge to us is where are the first-fruits of our time and energy and thoughts going toward?
We are now finishing up fellowship and have accepted a position at Vanderbilt in Nashville. We are also expecting our fifth child, due two weeks after we move. The adventure continues! I do know that God will continue to prove Himself faithful.
