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Love Gift Given By: Amy Scanlan May 2009
Don Williams Jr. said, “The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.
I have just read the results of the fourth test. Though all the answers are the same I am praying that this one will be different. But it is not, I am pregnant. For most women this is a dream come true; however, for me at that moment it was a horrible nightmare. I was devastated. Shocked, all I could do was ask “why God?”
At that very moment my entire life changed right before my eyes.
Five weeks later and three months pregnant, my husband, Zach, and I returned to Clemson University having left for the summer young and carefree, now married and preparing for a child. I suffered severe morning sickness and I was depressed. This was not how I imagined my life at the age of 20. It did not take long for my resentment towards Zach to mount. Though we know it was not all his fault, in my eyes, he deserved all the blame.
While waiting for Hunter’s arrival we coexisted. Often during those months, I would ask “why God?” My heart overflowed with bitterness towards Zach and now God.
You see, I was raised in Charlotte, NC, an only child in a Christian home. Not only did my family attend Sunday school and church every Sunday, but I was also an active member in the youth group and participated in the youth trips. I grew up surrounded by Christian family and friends. Therefore, at 21 years-old I was NOT suppose to be on the brink of divorce, my education in limbo and most of all a mother-to-be.
Thankfully, Zach had a similar upbringing also being raised in a strong Christian home with loving parents. So while we were becoming distant with each other and God, our families were praying very hard for each of us and our precious child.
On February 13, 1995, Hunter was born. He was perfect! That was one of the most amazing days of my life. At that point I turned to God briefly, but only to give thanks. Though I thought that Hunter’s birth would make everything okay, I realized that he was more like a band-aid on a deep-seeded wound. Do not misunderstand, Zach and I adored Hunter and we were grateful for this perfect child. We would not have changed that at all. However, my resentment did not magically disappear and my marriage continued to fall apart.
At the end of our rope 15 months later, we separated. That was one of the hardest days of my life. With our parents support and lots of prayer we worked out our divorce agreement in a peaceful and fair manner.
Matthew 5:3 says, “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. (The Message Bible)
Wanting to move forward I sought out God. God led me to forgive Zach and even myself and get rid of this burden once and for all.
In moving forward I renewed my relationship with God and returned to my most fundamental principle, faith.
What does “faith” mean to you? Webster’s online dictionary defines faith as the secure belief in God and trusting and accepting his will for your life.
However, for me faith is comprised of so much more. In my life faith encompasses maintaining a positive attitude, investing yourself wherever you may be, trusting God completely and knowing that we have hope through Jesus.
Let me share with you some of the ways that God has been faithful in my life.
Upon my separation, I returned home with Hunter to live with my parents and return to school. Zach and I developed a friendship and he continued to play a roll in Hunter’s life. Periodically, he even came to visit and stayed at my parent’s house. I began attending The University of North Carolina at Charlotte and felt like my life was finally back on track. In addition to pursing my degree, I still dreamed of meeting that perfect guy, though I could not imagine it would truly happen.
Well, I thank God for physics lab. That is where I met the love of my life, Tim. Who would have thought? Definitely not me, upon learning of my recent “separation,” pending divorce and 18 month-old son that I had at home, I’m sure he was “real” impressed. All this at 22! Wow, what a catch.
But God was faithful. After a year-long friendship we began dating. Six months later, Tim graduated and proposed. We married that July. We would be relocating to Buffalo, New York, where Tim had been accepted into dental school. Through all of the excitement, I still felt sad. It was the first time that I had ever lived so far away from my family. However, that was part of God’s plan. He used this time to help me grow into a young, independent woman focused on my family. By this time, Zach and Tim had become true friends and Zach and his wife, Dion, even spent a weekend with us in New York. The men took Hunter fishing while Dion and I went shopping. We had truly allowed God to heal our hearts and put Hunter first.
Upon graduating from dental school, Tim was commissioned a Captain into the United States Army. Our first duty station was Fort Benning, Georgia. I was thrilled! We were returning to the South, a much warmer climate and most of all near family. With Zach living in Florida, Hunter would also get to see him more. During the first year, Tim continued to ponder orthodontic training and applied to the Army fellowship program. Due to the needs of the Army he was not selected. However, that year Emma was born and that overshadowed any disappointment.
Shortly after Emma’s birth, we were reassigned to Fort Sill, Oklahoma. All I could think about was here we go again, away from family. At least it would not be cold like Buffalo, New York. It was in Fort Sill, Oklahoma, that we were blessed to meet our very best friends. You know the kind: where your husband likes that husband as much as you like the wife? At this point, we were truly enjoying the journey though still not quite sure where God was taking us.
As Proverbs 3: 5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths.
With Tim’s 4-year service coming to an end he applied to civilian orthodontic programs. We prayed for guidance and sought out God’s plan. God was faithful. Tim was invited to 8 interviews with one being here at the Mayo Clinic. Ranking Mayo Clinic number one we waited with anticipation for the results. God confirmed our plan. Tim was accepted. With the Mayo Clinic being a hospital-based program, Tim would receive a stipend allowing me to continue my staying at home with Hunter and Emma. God had provided again.
Leaving Oklahoma in June of 2006 was extremely difficult. Though we were thrilled to be going to the Mayo Clinic, we were leaving our best friends behind, moving to an extremely cold climate and we were still no closer to family.
Just as we were settling in, our life took a terrible turn. Emma, 2 ½ years-old at the time was hospitalized with a very serious strain of E-coli, a strain that can cause kidney dysfunction and destroy red blood cells. How could this be part of God’s plan? We were new to the area, had no established friends and were the farthest from family that we had been during this entire journey.
My heart ached and my faith was fading quickly. Tim had begun his fellowship and I felt alone and more afraid than ever.
As always, God had a plan. You see, upon moving to Rochester I was informed of Side By Side and strongly encouraged to sign-up. Though I did not make it to the famous picnic, I was put in contact with LeeAnn Tebben. Enough said…we immediately connected talking about Oklahoma and dentistry as she has close ties to both. And as if that was not enough, after learning that I had Hunter who was 11, she put Shelly Haugen who also had a son, Connor, 11, in touch with me. To this day, Hunter and Connor have remained great friends.
Upon both of these women learning of Emma’s hospitalization we were blessed with phone calls, multiple visits and special treats. LeeAnn would come and sit with me offering encouragement while Shelly would drop by assuring me Emma would be okay. In addition, Side By Side had begun fall session and my small group had begun praying for Emma, our mailbox was full of cards and meals were delivered. We were completely overwhelmed.
As Emma’s condition worsened with a transfusion necessary and her kidneys flirting with failure, I found myself on my knees in the bathroom of St. Mary’s hospital. With emotions overflowing, I sobbed begging and pleading with God to heal her. Remembering all of the prayers that were lifted up in her name I felt God’s presence sweep over me.
At that moment, I made a conscious decision to fully trust God with her. After one transfusion and two weeks in the hospital, Emma was released. Through God’s grace her kidneys had not suffered; therefore, she would have no long-term effects from the illness. We were grateful for God’s faithfulness, yet again.
I thank God for allowing the Mayo Clinic and Side By Side to be part of our plan. It is through God’s plan that we have been blessed time and time again with many wonderful friends and great experiences. Though we often thought our plan best, I can tell you now, nothing could ever have compared to this experience.
As our time in Rochester comes to an end and our journey continues, I will never forget Side By Side, the friends that I have made and the experiences we have shared. With that said, LeeAnn, I am eternally grateful for that added encouragement that you gave me to join Side By Side. I will miss our get togethers and most of all our time at the gym. Shelly Haugen, thank-you for all the carpools and for being like a second mother to my son, Hunter. I always knew that I could count on you.
To my small group members, I want to thank-you for wonderful discussions, great laughs, fun socials and for simply being you.
Stephanie J., I want to thank-you for all the play dates for our girls. Michelle S., what I can say, though I wish we had more time I know that this is only the beginning of a wonderful friendship. Finally, “Big T,” Trisha S., it has been a pleasure calling you friend the last 2 years as our husbands worked together. I have thoroughly enjoyed cookouts, celebrating birthdays and holidays. Boy, can we put on a Thanksgiving dinner or what! You and your family will be greatly missed though I know our paths will continue to cross.
To the rest of you here at Side By Side, I want to say thank-you for making my Friday mornings so special. Whether you know it or not, all of you have offered encouragement whether it is through a smile or my just knowing that I am surrounded by fellow Christian women.
Now as I go, I encourage each of you to rely on your faith. Through faith God has reminded me to always have a great attitude, invest in the journey, trust Him and remember the hope that we have through his son, Jesus.
On June 15th, my husband, Tim, our son, Hunter, 14, and our daughter, Emma, 5, will be leaving Rochester and moving to Asheville, North Carolina, home of the Biltmore Estate. Tim has purchased an orthodontic practice from a retiring doctor and we will finally be returning to the South, a much warmer climate and most importantly back to family. Though we know we have finally reached our long awaited destination, our journey does not end there.
As stated in the Message Bible, Matthew 17:14, says, “The simple truth is that if you have a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed…there is nothing you won’t be able to tackle.”
If you are ever in Asheville, North Carolina, know that you have a friend to call and a place to stay. May God bless each of you now and always.
Don Williams Jr. said, “The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.
I have just read the results of the fourth test. Though all the answers are the same I am praying that this one will be different. But it is not, I am pregnant. For most women this is a dream come true; however, for me at that moment it was a horrible nightmare. I was devastated. Shocked, all I could do was ask “why God?”
At that very moment my entire life changed right before my eyes.
Five weeks later and three months pregnant, my husband, Zach, and I returned to Clemson University having left for the summer young and carefree, now married and preparing for a child. I suffered severe morning sickness and I was depressed. This was not how I imagined my life at the age of 20. It did not take long for my resentment towards Zach to mount. Though we know it was not all his fault, in my eyes, he deserved all the blame.
While waiting for Hunter’s arrival we coexisted. Often during those months, I would ask “why God?” My heart overflowed with bitterness towards Zach and now God.
You see, I was raised in Charlotte, NC, an only child in a Christian home. Not only did my family attend Sunday school and church every Sunday, but I was also an active member in the youth group and participated in the youth trips. I grew up surrounded by Christian family and friends. Therefore, at 21 years-old I was NOT suppose to be on the brink of divorce, my education in limbo and most of all a mother-to-be.
Thankfully, Zach had a similar upbringing also being raised in a strong Christian home with loving parents. So while we were becoming distant with each other and God, our families were praying very hard for each of us and our precious child.
On February 13, 1995, Hunter was born. He was perfect! That was one of the most amazing days of my life. At that point I turned to God briefly, but only to give thanks. Though I thought that Hunter’s birth would make everything okay, I realized that he was more like a band-aid on a deep-seeded wound. Do not misunderstand, Zach and I adored Hunter and we were grateful for this perfect child. We would not have changed that at all. However, my resentment did not magically disappear and my marriage continued to fall apart.
At the end of our rope 15 months later, we separated. That was one of the hardest days of my life. With our parents support and lots of prayer we worked out our divorce agreement in a peaceful and fair manner.
Matthew 5:3 says, “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. (The Message Bible)
Wanting to move forward I sought out God. God led me to forgive Zach and even myself and get rid of this burden once and for all.
In moving forward I renewed my relationship with God and returned to my most fundamental principle, faith.
What does “faith” mean to you? Webster’s online dictionary defines faith as the secure belief in God and trusting and accepting his will for your life.
However, for me faith is comprised of so much more. In my life faith encompasses maintaining a positive attitude, investing yourself wherever you may be, trusting God completely and knowing that we have hope through Jesus.
Let me share with you some of the ways that God has been faithful in my life.
Upon my separation, I returned home with Hunter to live with my parents and return to school. Zach and I developed a friendship and he continued to play a roll in Hunter’s life. Periodically, he even came to visit and stayed at my parent’s house. I began attending The University of North Carolina at Charlotte and felt like my life was finally back on track. In addition to pursing my degree, I still dreamed of meeting that perfect guy, though I could not imagine it would truly happen.
Well, I thank God for physics lab. That is where I met the love of my life, Tim. Who would have thought? Definitely not me, upon learning of my recent “separation,” pending divorce and 18 month-old son that I had at home, I’m sure he was “real” impressed. All this at 22! Wow, what a catch.
But God was faithful. After a year-long friendship we began dating. Six months later, Tim graduated and proposed. We married that July. We would be relocating to Buffalo, New York, where Tim had been accepted into dental school. Through all of the excitement, I still felt sad. It was the first time that I had ever lived so far away from my family. However, that was part of God’s plan. He used this time to help me grow into a young, independent woman focused on my family. By this time, Zach and Tim had become true friends and Zach and his wife, Dion, even spent a weekend with us in New York. The men took Hunter fishing while Dion and I went shopping. We had truly allowed God to heal our hearts and put Hunter first.
Upon graduating from dental school, Tim was commissioned a Captain into the United States Army. Our first duty station was Fort Benning, Georgia. I was thrilled! We were returning to the South, a much warmer climate and most of all near family. With Zach living in Florida, Hunter would also get to see him more. During the first year, Tim continued to ponder orthodontic training and applied to the Army fellowship program. Due to the needs of the Army he was not selected. However, that year Emma was born and that overshadowed any disappointment.
Shortly after Emma’s birth, we were reassigned to Fort Sill, Oklahoma. All I could think about was here we go again, away from family. At least it would not be cold like Buffalo, New York. It was in Fort Sill, Oklahoma, that we were blessed to meet our very best friends. You know the kind: where your husband likes that husband as much as you like the wife? At this point, we were truly enjoying the journey though still not quite sure where God was taking us.
As Proverbs 3: 5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths.
With Tim’s 4-year service coming to an end he applied to civilian orthodontic programs. We prayed for guidance and sought out God’s plan. God was faithful. Tim was invited to 8 interviews with one being here at the Mayo Clinic. Ranking Mayo Clinic number one we waited with anticipation for the results. God confirmed our plan. Tim was accepted. With the Mayo Clinic being a hospital-based program, Tim would receive a stipend allowing me to continue my staying at home with Hunter and Emma. God had provided again.
Leaving Oklahoma in June of 2006 was extremely difficult. Though we were thrilled to be going to the Mayo Clinic, we were leaving our best friends behind, moving to an extremely cold climate and we were still no closer to family.
Just as we were settling in, our life took a terrible turn. Emma, 2 ½ years-old at the time was hospitalized with a very serious strain of E-coli, a strain that can cause kidney dysfunction and destroy red blood cells. How could this be part of God’s plan? We were new to the area, had no established friends and were the farthest from family that we had been during this entire journey.
My heart ached and my faith was fading quickly. Tim had begun his fellowship and I felt alone and more afraid than ever.
As always, God had a plan. You see, upon moving to Rochester I was informed of Side By Side and strongly encouraged to sign-up. Though I did not make it to the famous picnic, I was put in contact with LeeAnn Tebben. Enough said…we immediately connected talking about Oklahoma and dentistry as she has close ties to both. And as if that was not enough, after learning that I had Hunter who was 11, she put Shelly Haugen who also had a son, Connor, 11, in touch with me. To this day, Hunter and Connor have remained great friends.
Upon both of these women learning of Emma’s hospitalization we were blessed with phone calls, multiple visits and special treats. LeeAnn would come and sit with me offering encouragement while Shelly would drop by assuring me Emma would be okay. In addition, Side By Side had begun fall session and my small group had begun praying for Emma, our mailbox was full of cards and meals were delivered. We were completely overwhelmed.
As Emma’s condition worsened with a transfusion necessary and her kidneys flirting with failure, I found myself on my knees in the bathroom of St. Mary’s hospital. With emotions overflowing, I sobbed begging and pleading with God to heal her. Remembering all of the prayers that were lifted up in her name I felt God’s presence sweep over me.
At that moment, I made a conscious decision to fully trust God with her. After one transfusion and two weeks in the hospital, Emma was released. Through God’s grace her kidneys had not suffered; therefore, she would have no long-term effects from the illness. We were grateful for God’s faithfulness, yet again.
I thank God for allowing the Mayo Clinic and Side By Side to be part of our plan. It is through God’s plan that we have been blessed time and time again with many wonderful friends and great experiences. Though we often thought our plan best, I can tell you now, nothing could ever have compared to this experience.
As our time in Rochester comes to an end and our journey continues, I will never forget Side By Side, the friends that I have made and the experiences we have shared. With that said, LeeAnn, I am eternally grateful for that added encouragement that you gave me to join Side By Side. I will miss our get togethers and most of all our time at the gym. Shelly Haugen, thank-you for all the carpools and for being like a second mother to my son, Hunter. I always knew that I could count on you.
To my small group members, I want to thank-you for wonderful discussions, great laughs, fun socials and for simply being you.
Stephanie J., I want to thank-you for all the play dates for our girls. Michelle S., what I can say, though I wish we had more time I know that this is only the beginning of a wonderful friendship. Finally, “Big T,” Trisha S., it has been a pleasure calling you friend the last 2 years as our husbands worked together. I have thoroughly enjoyed cookouts, celebrating birthdays and holidays. Boy, can we put on a Thanksgiving dinner or what! You and your family will be greatly missed though I know our paths will continue to cross.
To the rest of you here at Side By Side, I want to say thank-you for making my Friday mornings so special. Whether you know it or not, all of you have offered encouragement whether it is through a smile or my just knowing that I am surrounded by fellow Christian women.
Now as I go, I encourage each of you to rely on your faith. Through faith God has reminded me to always have a great attitude, invest in the journey, trust Him and remember the hope that we have through his son, Jesus.
On June 15th, my husband, Tim, our son, Hunter, 14, and our daughter, Emma, 5, will be leaving Rochester and moving to Asheville, North Carolina, home of the Biltmore Estate. Tim has purchased an orthodontic practice from a retiring doctor and we will finally be returning to the South, a much warmer climate and most importantly back to family. Though we know we have finally reached our long awaited destination, our journey does not end there.
As stated in the Message Bible, Matthew 17:14, says, “The simple truth is that if you have a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed…there is nothing you won’t be able to tackle.”
If you are ever in Asheville, North Carolina, know that you have a friend to call and a place to stay. May God bless each of you now and always.
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